Lifestyle,  Spirituality

Releasing the urge to capitalise on all my gifts + hobbies

Gosh, I haven’t done this whole blogging thing in years. Mostly because I lost the ability to write for fun because I started doing it as a job a few years back.

Elizabeth Gilbert said in an interview I watched once that “Being multi-talented is a curse.” And I swear I’m not saying that to big-note myself. I’m saying it because, honestly, it is.

I’ve put so much pressure on myself over the years to try and capitalise on my gifts—to the point that they became about creating something to be of use for someone else.

I’ve never given my gifts to myself.

And as a result I’ve spent YEARS with no hobbies (barring the occasional collaging session in my living room).

But this Covid-19 time has forced me into facing the ways I was ignoring my desire for beauty, fun, and being for their own sakes.

For those of you who follow me on social media, you’ll know that I’m working on a webseries called Cam Girls with my friend Bonnie Kate Austin.

And the process has been straight up divine.

Yes, we’re going to be attaching a Patreon account to it because, like so many people, neither of us have income anymore barring what we’re receiving from welfare. But our focus and energy is going toward being fully immersed in the process of creativity and the joy of working together and getting to know each other better.

I haven’t felt so alive and so myself and so expansively joyful in all my life.

Being silly, having D&Ms, sharing our spiritual journeys, and creating together has been such a huge source of nourishment to both Bonnie Kate and I as we are learning how to create from a place of ease and embodiment (rather than stress and the obsessive intellectualisation of our script).

So I’m setting my intention to blog (whenever I feel like it rather than putting pressure on myself to do it for business or whatever) because it freaking makes my heart happy.

Because writing is fun for me.

Because connecting with my readers is a cool experience.

Because it’s a helpful outlet for organising my thoughts.

So much yay for the reigniting first loves for their own sake.

Carrie x

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